Ranking the Seventeen (and a half) Rankin-Bass Christmas Specials

At this joyous time of year, the television screens are lit up by the sights and sounds of the Christmas season. We all have our favorite holiday movies (‘Miracle on 34th Street’, ‘A Christmas Story’, ‘Scrooge’, ‘It’s A Wonderful Life’, etc.), but, of the stand-alone Christmas specials, a select few stand out from the rest of the pack. ‘A Charlie Brown Christmas’ has remained among the perennial favorites since its debut in 1965, mostly through the child-to-adult thinking process that Charles Schulz mastered as his alter ego, Charlie Brown, ponders the true meaning of the season and the faithful adaptation of his work by cartoonist Bill Melendez, who died earlier this year. The dialogue is perfectly countered by the timeless jazz-inspired holiday music of Vince Guaraldi. Three years later, MGM released a half-hour cartoon version of Dr. Seuss’ ‘How the Grinch Stole Christmas’, narrated by the unlikely Boris Karloff, who also voiced the Grinch through his plan to take the holiday from the residents of Whoville, only to discover Christmas is not a thing, but a feeling that really doesn’t need toys and trinkets. These two stand out for their adaptability to the small screen for which they were made and the one-shot message they conveyed to us and our kids a generation or two later. This not to say that a couple of people didn’t try on a consistent basis. For nearly 40 years, the team of Arthur Rankin Jr. and Jules Bass, along with such writers as Romeo Muller, Julian Gardner, William Keenan and Jerome Coopersmith, among a host of others, put out over 30 animated specials for children of all ages, 18 of them (okay 17 and a half) specifically for the Christmas season. Now, when I say ‘animated’, I refer to either the hand-drawn cartoon everyone knows and loves or the use of stop-motion dolls made famous by the likes of Willis O’Brien and Ray Harryhousen. Each one was usually marked by a well-known talent stepping down a bit from the Silver Screen to narrate the tale-in-question. They were also blessed with voice actors who were true masters of their craft in the cartoon field, most notably the great Paul Frees and the lovely June Foray. Some of the specials seemed to center on a specific flavor-of the month (mostly eggnog or peppermint), but others transcended the material to rank with Schulz and Seuss to fit perfectly with the tinsel and presents of the holiday. I may be stepping out on a limb here, but here is my own list of Rankin-Bass specials from worst to first. This is my humble opinion only, and some of it is tongue firmly placed in cheek. You may have a special place for some shows that simply did not hit me in the right vein at the time. If such is the case, I apologize to you and hope this will not put a humbug in your Christmas Spirit: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 17. The Leprechaun’s Christmas Gold (1981) stop-motion Faith an’ Begorrah, but Art Carney (as Blarney Kilakilarny) breaks every Irish stereotype in the book as he brogues his way through a tale of leprechaun’s special gold that is made only on Christmas and a horrific Banshee that wants it. This is more suited for Halloween than Christmas. In that case, check out where Rankin and Bass did much better with Boris Karloff and Phyllis Diller in ‘Mad Monster Party?’ in 1968. 16. Rudolph and Frosty’s Christmas in July (1979) stop-motion Take the two most popular Rankin-Bass characters and put them in a whirlwind whodunit complete with a sinister reindeer and an evil king who wants to take control of the North Pole from Santa Claus. Even with the talents of Red Buttons, Ethel Merman, Billie Richards and Jackie Vernon (Rudolph and Frosty, respectively), Mickey Rooney and ex-‘Laugh-In’ regular Alan Sues, this plot is a bit complicated for even the kids this was aimed for. Its only draw was seeing Frosty as a stop-motion doll for the first and only time. Still, it’s far superior to 2001’s computer animated straight-to-video ‘Rudolph and the Island of Misfit Toys’, which, you will be pleased to hear, was NOT an R-B production. 15. Pinocchio’s Christmas (1980) stop-motion This production stars Alan King as the Maestro Fire-Eater, and George S. (Heat Miser) Irving as Gepetto. From what I remember, this pretty much skirted several Disneyesque issues in the puppet-boy’s search for a Christmas present for his father-creator. Lesson learned: ‘Don’t mess with the original’. 14. The Stingiest Man In Town (1978) cartoon The placement at this level is not for the content or its stars (narrator Tom Bosley as ‘B.A.H. Humbug’, Theodore Bikel, Dennis Day and Walter Matthau as Scrooge), but for the level of advertising. For all its worth, this animated remake of a 1956 TV musical was barely heard about till long after it was gone. That alone puts a waste to all the artwork and talent. Such a great show that no one got to see…twice. 13. The Life and Adventures of Santa Claus (1985) stop-motion This rendition of Santa’s early days is a far cry from ‘Santa Claus Is Coming To Town’. Based on a story by L. Frank Baum (‘The Wizard of Oz’), this much darker version tells of Claus (Earl Hammond) and his battles with King Agua in his quest for immortality to continue to spread joy and presents to children everywhere. It looked a lot like their animated version of ‘The Hobbit’ back in 1977. Not necessarily bad…just a far cry from their regular Christmas fare. 12. Frosty’s Winter Wonderland (1976) cartoon Andy Griffith recounts the tale of how the kids of a small town took it upon themselves to build a snow-wife (Shelley Winters) for a lonesome Frosty (comedian Jackie Vernon, reprising his famous role from seven years before), much to the chagrin of a feisty Jack Frost (Frees). I don’t know…it all looked right, but it just wasn’t the same without Jimmy Durante. It also seemed someone was in a hurry to slap something together story-wise, including (shudder) extra verses to the classic song by Griffith. This show really made me cringe, in a ‘Frozen Biology 101’ sort of way. 11. Santa Baby (2001) cartoon A little girl makes a Christmas wish to get her song-writer father out of his slump. This is a showcase for the song made famous by Eartha Kitt (who stars in the show alongside Gregory Hines, Patti LaBelle and Vanessa Williams). For the first Rankin-Bass cartoon in 16 years (and the last one to date), it tried a little too hard to mix an African-American beat into the Rankin-Bass feel of Christmas (check out 1994’s ‘A Cool Like That Christmas’ and Boyz II Men’s version of ‘Silent Night’ for a far superior product). 10. Rudolph’s Shiny New Year (1976) stop-motion It’s nice to know that Billie Richards (Rudolph) gets regular work from Arthur and Jules, but this was a bit overblown. Rudolph has to be on the lookout for the Baby New Year, who has run away because people kept laughing at his enormous ears. With the help of a crusty knight (Frank Gorshin) and a caveman (Morey Amsterdam), they must find the baby and deliver him to Father Time (Red Skelton) before the evil vulture Eon (Paul Frees) get his claws on him to stop time forever. Confused? You weren’t the only one. 9.5. Jack Frost (1979) stop-motion Okay, this is technically NOT a Christmas tale (it takes place on Groundhog Day). Pardon-Me Pete the Groundhog (Buddy Hackett) tells the story of the Man of Frost (the versatile Robert Morse) achieving human form to join a maiden with a brave knight against the evil ventriloquist-obsessed Cossack Kubla Kraus (Frees again). Kind of a sweet story with a sad ending since Jack also falls for the maiden, but has to return to his frozen invisible state to keep Winter going. I include this in the list solely because ABC Family kept putting it in their ’25 Days of Christmas’ festival. 9.0 Nestor, the Long-Eared Christmas Donkey (1977) stop-motion This is another story of a big-eared character, only with a lot more pathos. This harkens to the ‘Christ’ side to Christmas, from the point of view of a donkey named Spieltoe, (singer Roger Miller), the only resident in Santa’s stable without antlers. As it turns out, his ancestor, Nestor, who was harangued by everyone for his enormous auditory appendages, was the donkey that carried the Virgin Mary to the stable where Jesus was born. Along the way, Nestor is helped only by an accident-prone cherubic angel named Tilly (Brenda Vaccaro). Seriously, this is a well-crafted, but exceedingly sad tale, on par with ‘Bambi’ and ‘Grave of the Fireflies’. Bring your hankies for this one. 8. The Little Drummer Boy: Book II (1976) stop-motion Ted Eccles (reprising his role as Aaron, the anger-management poster child Little Drummer Boy) has better control of his issues, but has to contend with some nasty Roman soldiers (led by the great Zero Mostel), who want to lay claim to a bunch of silver bells meant to proclaim the birth of Christ. Also returning is Greer Garson as the narrator. 7. The Story of the First Christmas Snow (1975) stop-motion Yup, someone on the writing staff evidently went to Parochial School for this story. A young shepherd named Lucas is blinded in a thunderstorm looking for a lost sheep and takes shelter in an abbey headed by Sister Theresa (Angela Lansbury), where he befriends a girl named Louisa. Just in time for the Christmas pageant, he regains his sight and finds his sheep. If you can’t find the video or DVD, just read Luke 15:3-7. 6. ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas (1974) cartoon ‘Lonesome’ George Gobel finally has a family to call his own as Father Mouse, who is stirring through the quiet house because he has to contend with a braniac kid named Albert who was able to get a letter to Santa saying the town doesn’t believe in him. To keep St. Nick from passing them by, the village clockmaker (Joel Grey) builds a clock tower with a special song (‘Christmastime Is Calling’)…except Albert breaks it trying to find out how it works. There are some very special moments in here, including the sweet song ‘Even a Miracle Needs a Hand’. There’s also a handy cameo by veteran actor John McGiver as the town mayor, which fits his stolid blustery character to a ‘T’. 5. The Year Without a Santa Claus (1974) stop-motion You know, I really miss Shirley Booth. She would have fit perfectly in some of the great TV show of the 80s and 90s, besides her immortal stint on the 60s sitcom ‘Hazel’. Here, she plays Mrs. Santa. When her husband (Mickey Rooney again) says he is too sick to get on the sleigh, she sends a couple of misfit elves, Jingle and Jangle, south to drum up support for the Jolly One. Along the way, they get arrested, a reindeer gets sick and they run into the infamous Miser Brothers (Broadway legend George S. ‘Heat Miser’ Irving and comedian Dick ‘Snow Miser’ Shawn). Incidentally, the ‘brothers’ apparently stole the show enough to get their own cartoon, ‘A Miser Brothers Christmas’ in 2008, but, like ‘Misfit Toys’, it was not produced by Arthur and Jules. Shawn, best known for his stint in the original film ‘The Producers’, died in 1987, so ‘Snow Miser’ is now voiced by Juan Chioran. After some intervention from Mother Nature, a young boy named Ignatius Thistlewhite and a soulful rendition of ‘Blue Christmas’, all the wackiness makes sense and things get back on track. All in all, this is a very enjoyable hour for kids everywhere. 4. The Little Drummer Boy (1968) stop-motion Oscar-winner Greer Garson steps down from ‘Mrs. Miniver’ to tell a parable from the old Biblical days of a boy named Aaron who has just about every bad, nasty thing in the world happen to him. His only friends are animals (specifically a dancing lamb, camel and donkey…no, not Nestor) and his sole worldly possession is a drum made by his parents, Frees and Foray (before they were murdered by nomads…get the picture?) He is kidnapped by the evil Ben Haramad (Jose Ferrer) and his cackling henchman, Ali, to perform for people to make money for Haramad, but escapes long enough to join up with three wise men looking for the new Messiah. Because he doesn’t have any presents, he plays his drum for the Holy Family, who, inexplicably, doesn’t complain because some kid is doing his Lars Ulrich impression in front of a newborn. Just kidding. This is truly a great story about how even the worst anger is washed away by the Love of God. 3. Frosty the Snowman (1969) cartoon For its time and place, it was a welcome respite from the humdrum holiday variety show it replaced. Now it’s an animated marvel that still has a place on network television after 40 years. Movie legend Jimmy Durante relates the tale of a snowman who comes to life due to the magic hat of a hack magician (TV jack-of-all-trades Billy DeWolfe). If you never heard of DeWolfe, you will never forget him now. His trademark punchline of repeating words on a number of sitcoms (‘Silly, silly, silly…’) are now etched forever with the green-faced Professor Hinkle, who strives to get his hat back from Frosty (stand-up comic Jackie Vernon). With the help of a schoolgirl named Karen (Foray, who also did the voice of Cindy Lou Who the year before), Frosty makes his way up north to cooler climes with Hinkle on his heels (I love when he says ‘Think nasty…think nasty…think nasty…). Finally Santa (Frees) intervenes after Frosty is seemingly melted in a greenhouse, only to learn that Christmas snow is not like the regular frozen precipitation. This is truly a cartoon that has just about everything for the holiday spirit. 2. Santa Claus is Coming to Town (1970) stop-motion Movie legend Fred Astaire is a postman at the North Pole who is set to answer as many kids questions as he can about the birth and making of the man named Santa Claus. We learn that a young baby, wearing the name tag ‘Claus’ is found at the steps of the Sombertown mayor, the Burghermeister Meisterburger (Frees, in perhaps his best role ever), who sends him off to the orphanage, only to be lost in the woods near the lair of the Winter Warlock (Keenan Wynne). He is found and raised by the Kringle family of elves, who were toymakers to the King, and is raised in their loving environment. When he comes of age, he wants to deliver toys to Sombertown, but because the Burghermeister recently broke his funny-bone on a toy, he has outlawed them. The now-young adult (voiced by Mickey Rooney), who has taken the name Kris Kringle, brings toys to the children and falls for a young teacher named Jessica (Robie Lester), but runs afoul of the Burghermeister and his henchman, Grimsby (also voiced by Frees). He is later caught by the Warlock, but wins his friendship with a toy train, which leads to a great song ‘Put One Foot In Front Of The Other’. Because Kris is now wanted by the law, he dons a beard (as do all Kringles) and sneaks toys into homes through the attic before being caught. He escapes with the aid of the Warlock, who can make reindeer fly with magic dust (borrowed from Cheech and Chong?) and hightails it to the North Pole, but not before marrying Jessica is some weird sort of civil hippie union under the stars. He finally gets back to the baby nametag, redubs himself ‘Santa Claus’ and eventually age forces him to curtail his toymaking and giving to once a year. There are a couple of moments where the plot gets painfully dated (the song ‘If You Sit On My Lap Today’ would probably never be sung in this day and age), but this biography of the Jolly Old Elf will do just as well as anything you may have heard before. 1. Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer (1964) stop-motion The first special remains the best of the lot. Sam the Snowman (Burl Ives) tells the story of a young reindeer (Billie Rae Richards), the son of Donner, who has to make his way through a world that considers him a freak simply because of a glowing red nose. His only friend is Hermie (Paul Soles), a social outcast from the elf community because he’d rather study dentistry than toy making. Together, they leave the North Pole for parts unknown with the aid of Yukon Cornelius (Larry D. Mann) and discover the Island of Misfit Toys, where other outcasts made their way. Eventually Rudolph finds he has to go home to face his family (and his destiny) and runs into Bumble, the Abominable Snow Monster, but Yukon and Hermie arrive to save the day. When a terrible blizzard threatens to cancel Christmas, Santa finds that Rudolph’s phosphorescent proboscis is the only thing that will cut through the haze of the storm and save the holiday. Because of a letter–writing campaign, there was even an addition made a year after the first showing to display a happier ending for the Misfit Toys, who were rescued by Santa. This special has hung around long enough to cement itself into the Christmas psyche of young and old viewers alike with songs like ‘Silver and Gold’, ‘There’s Always Tomorrow’, ‘Holly Jolly Christmas’ and ‘The Most Wonderful Day of the Year’. The writing, animation and music all blend together to create a fairyland that became the cornerstone of the Rankin-Bass domain.

The Turkey Bowl Recap

“The great gift of family life is to be intimately acquainted with people you might never ever introduce yourself to, had life not done it for you.” -Kendall Hailey -------------------- “Football is, after all, a wonderful way to get rid of your aggressions without going to jail for it.” -Heywood Hale Broun ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Springdale, AR (Family Press International) – A great nephew, though vastly underrated by the high school team he plays for, caught two fantastic touchdown passes to lead the Ahsweepes to a 14-7 victory over the Butholays in the Upteenth Annual Turkey Bowl, played on the front lawn of Uncle Larry and Aunt Jackie’s residence this past Thanksgiving. Junior center Jonathan ‘the Mean Machine’ caught the first of the two TD passes from his father, Geoff ‘Living his Second Childhood through his Children’ midway through the third quarter of play, beating out several defensive members of the secondary, including his brother, Brian ‘B-Ri’ and cousin Gage ‘Ewh Newh’, into the end zone, which was marked by a lamp post. The final TD came at the end of regulation when the Mean One connected again under heavy coverage, this time almost spilling out onto the street corner. The Ahsweepes’ offensive front lines were solidified by the imposing figure of ‘Uncle Nature Boy’ Barry, who has been known to be offensive on many occasions through no fault of his own. While Thanksgiving dinner put a noticeable crimp in his speed against the Brian-Gage combo, it was enough to hold back the attack of sack-master brother Patrick ‘The Neurotic One’ throughout the matchup (in fact, both brothers were the only ones who went back for seconds that day). Helping out their dad on offense were the famed ‘Terrible Twins’, Alex ‘Twilight Princess’ and Nikki ‘the Future Mrs. Cullen’, who played alongside Cousin Katie ‘Nail Breaker’ in the backfield. Katie also doubled rushing for several carries, but the defense of the Neurotic One, who quit smoking only three weeks before, held her to short yardage and stopped at least one embarrassing spill on the front steps. Assisting the Ahsweepes in the backfield was a harassing defense from Aunt Mel, ‘the cook from ‘Alice’’, whose sharp wit and sarcasm sent at least one opponent crying to Mommy, but she’s all better now. The Butholays were led in rushing by nephew Jeremy ‘Soy Un Perdedor’, who brazenly crossed over onto the sidewalk on several failed attempts before scoring the team’s lone score in the third quarter on a solo scamper around the front porch into the neighbor’s driveway. A review of the play showed him clearly staying within the sideline set by the Gus the Dachshund’s last constitutional. Contributing to the rushing attack for the losing side was ‘Speedball Jay’, who also played in the secondary against his wife, ‘Two-Fisted Amy’, who was playing for the Ahsweepes. Butholay center/nose guard Charlotte ‘the Virtuoso’ was instrumental in several defensive tackles, including what was supposed to be an easy run for ‘Lil’ Morgan’, but nobody told her she was supposed to get through. She was later called on a penalty for grabbing Aunt Mel’s bra-strap. Meanwhile, ‘Marvelous Mark, the Red-Headed Stranger’ was also part of a solid Butholay defensive line. Under the tutelage of Brian and Gage, the 3’6” bundle of M-80 exploded through the Ahsweepes front line several times, mostly sneek-sneek-sneeking around his dad, to harass the QB on several occasions. In a rare display of caution among all parties, the usual abrasions, bumps, sprains and broken garden pottery that set the standard for the game were noticeably absent, although Butholay line-person Aunt Leslie ‘The Eliminator’ nearly took out Amy on the sidewalk right in front of ‘Granny’ and ‘Papa’ Bill. The hosts for the affair, Uncle Larry, ‘the One True Hog Fan’, and Aunt Jackie, ‘the Second Coming’, sat out the game this year nursing a bum knee. Aunt Carla, ‘the Great Earth Mother’ was also sidelined as son Peter ‘Wii Man’ was beset with ennui because he couldn’t play video games with no one in the house. The victory puts the Ahsweepes into no post-season bowl contention, but the team did get first dibs on the sweet potato and egg custard pies at the conclusion of the game. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ -Story submitted by sportswriter ‘Red’ Ruffansore-